The Solo Life Afloat

Well it’s been over a month since Debra flew home and I’m not dead yet. Somehow I survived on my own without any major incidents. I say this but I still have five days until she returns. I’m in the home stretch so I’m being cautious because everyone knows that just when you get relaxed thinking you made it then something hideous happens. Kind of like winter driving up north when you make it to your Neighborhood after a long drive home from work in a blizzard only to go too fast in a turn onto your street and plow into the Neighbors mailbox.

So now it’s time to play it cool. No back flips off the deck into the water to cool off. You use the ladder. No balancing a pot of boiling hot soup up the companionway to the cockpit because eating out of the pan saves dishes. No deep frying anything. No walking to the brewery at the end of the day. Drink earlier. No high speed dinghy runs for fun. NO snorkeling or hiking. No use of power tools with blades. No thinking, “I bet I can squeeze into that space to finally get at that plumbing”. In fact, no plumbing. No visiting a bar you’ve never been to. No eating a burger after being a vegetarian for over ten years. No thinking, “A toke or two can’t hurt”. No eating barracuda. No spilling hot sauce all over your plate and eating it anyway. No walking in the mid day sun to fill your backpack with potatoes, squash and a bag of apples and then humping it back. No helping to pull boats off rocks. No agreeing to go up a mast because you’re smallish. No taking people to “their” boat. No bar chatting with drunks.

So basically I’m going to just clean the boat and play guitar.

Playing the guitar hasn’t been that safe actually. My strumming arm had some shooting pain running through it and I had it go numb a few times. I started asking around if anyone experienced this and I guess it’s kind of rare but possible. I’ve been practicing a few songs involving some heavy strumming by Green Day and Nirvana. It was suggested (Thanks Cousin) that I should stand and play for a bit which may help with the motion of the arm. Change my posture. So, when Deb gets back she’ll have to put up me jamming upright. Wish I had some tight jeans.

I’m actually walking around a bit more than usual and entertaining the goats. Sometimes they follow me. Beer consumption is down and for some reason the island seems to have an abundance of lettuce so eating like a rabbit has been keeping the weight down as well. With the belly, sunken chest and the gray goatee I was looking a bit too typical a cruiser. You know, after a while we all start looking the same. Some of us have the same damn shirts. I don’t know, it bothers me. I’ll see on the news some angry old guy yelling at life and clouds and I’m thinking shit, he looks familiar. I was doing a few workout routines a day until I hurt my arm. Hoping it heals soon as I’m getting that sluggish feeling again.

Taco Salad. That’s not real meat in case you’re wondering

It’s a good thing I have the blog else I’d be talking to myself by now. In a way that’s what this is but I don’t feel as crazy doing it. I really don’t know how some guys do this living alone thing. Judging by some of the radio conversation I’d say they’re not really pulling it off. Some dudes are pretty outgoing and I think you have to be that way to survive floating alone. I’m kind of a social misfit so I tend to need courage to be a bit social. Beer helps. But you know, I go to a bar to hang out and chat and I inevitably meet some weirdo or even a group of them. There are some stories I can tell but I refrain because I’ve exchanged boat cards with some of these people and they’re most likely reading this. Well, maybe. I remember a gal saying, “Oh, I’ve read your blog.” Yikes! Might be time to get the boat name off the facebook blog title. One thing I have only done a few times is google for a boat name but I bet some people do it a lot. Have a boat anchor too close? Google them. See if they had any blog posts like “Our anchor dragged and we slammed into another sailboat so we fled. Some day we’ll figure this whole anchoring thing out but until then, party on!” Might want to relocate after reading that.

All in all it’s been kind of boring living alone. You will see or hear something funny but you have no one to share it with. This Sucks. Like the other day when on the radio I heard Momma Cow calling Fat Susan. Hahaha. The funniest was a boat called Douche Canoe from last season. After their radio call I damn near fell over laughing. I saw the boat later. It’s actually Douche Canoe. This stuff is hilarious but it’s even more fun together. Walking to the store last week there was a traffic jam. Lot’s of impatient drivers honking their horns. When I got closer to the accident I saw a car with it’s left wheels over a small barrier and hanging over a drainage channel. I stopped to look not thinking about the car next to me with the windows down. “Holy shit! How the fuck did he do that?” I heard laughter from the driver of the car I was next to. I guess I was thinking out loud again. If Deb was with me I would have said it to her and not the car in traffic. On one of my walks I found a little secluded beach. It was nice to get my feet cooled off in the hot sun and a perfect spot to sit and watch the ocean for a while but it’s not the same without Deb. Aww. I know what you’re thinking. Pauly is sucking up a bit now that wifey is on her way. Ha! Maybe she’ll go easy on me when she sees everything out of place. Women don’t like their stuff messed with. I had to though. It was in the way of a project. đŸ˜€

A quiet little spot. Just perfect after a nice walk in the sun

So safe travels my dear and hopefully I can hold out until Sunday without going bonkers. I’ll make sure the boat is as clean as it can be…maybe. I found some relatively tight jeans and some hair gel and I’ve been practicing “God Save the Queen” by the Sex Pistols. I think you’ll like it.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s