It was three in the morning when I heard the dude upstairs start his shower. Usually I wake up at two because he’s pissing in the toilet and it’s about the time I have to go anyway but a shower at three? C’mon man. I tried to fall back asleep but the water kept running. I tossed and turned and then resigned myself to just staring at the ceiling until I felt like getting up and making some tea.

The water kept running. I’m usually up before this dude decides to clean himself so I have no idea what the shower sounded like down here but damn it sounds too loud. Actually it sounds wet. Almost like the dripping is in here. I couldn’t stand it anymore and I walked into the bathroom to look around with the light on my phone. I stepped in water. What the fuck! There’s water running down the walls! There’s water coming through the ceiling fan! There’s water everywhere! Deb!!

We got towels and I called security because it’s just what I thought you should do. Knocking on the neighbors door at three something in the morning seemed wrong. Security told me they would drive around the building. What? What the fuck is that going to do? They have to wait until daytime hours and call the owners to get permission to enter the apartments. Oh for Christ sakes.

I got my shoes on. Oops. Pants too. I ran upstairs and BANGED on the door. That might have been a bad idea. I knocked again a little softer.

“Yeah! Hold on!” I heard grumbling and mumbling. All I could think of was the dude was looking for his gun. From deep in the apartment I heard, “Aww fuck me”. I then heard footsteps towards the door. The dude opened it up almost naked with his hand over his forehead and his eyes closed saying, “Man, I’m sorry man it just overflowed. The toilet valve is fucked up and well I just noticed it.”

Picture a southern Tommy Chong minus the beard with a giant beer belly.

“I usually know when it’s fucked up but I had an accident man and got like seventeen stitches in my head so I been sleeping on the couch to keep my head up.” The couch was pulled out in front of a massive TV which was playing some old black and white movie. There were paper shopping bags all over the place filled with stuff and well, if there were twenty cats in there too I would not be surprised.

Is the water shut off? “Yeah man it’s off. My truck is down the road and I have a wet vac in it. I can suck it up tomorrow if you want”

Thanks but as long as the water is off we should be able to handle it. “Alright man. You here through the weekend? Cause we got an owners meeting and I will bring it up that my fucking toilet did it again.”

Uh, OK. Hope your head feels better.

I’m so tired. Tommy Chong is moving around up there now. We let the owner know what happened. Tommy better not appear at our door with a wet vac. I think he should put another movie on and light up and enjoy the day while using the guest bathroom.



Update: Tommy just knocked on the door and wanted to see the damage. I let him in. He doesn’t even look like the same guy this morning. He’s off to work and before he left us he mentioned he quit drinking and the damn doctors should have told him he might pass out cause that’s why he got stitches in his head and why he didn’t hear the toilet flowing. Thanks for the info Tommy.

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