Adjustments

The grass is covered in frost. Damn cold out there. At least it’s sunny. Gray and cold sucks and reminds me of Western New York winters. I would leave the office of florescent lighting only to ride home in the same lighting…or in the dark.

Imagine driving to work in the dark and being in an office with no windows, a factory floor with no windows and then going home in the dark. Do this all winter long and try to stay sane.

I wanted to go for a walk today but all I have are sandals and some old Vans. Now that I am not waking up on a boat I should probably get some proper footwear. Might need some more pants. A sweater? Ugh, this land living is changing everything. It’s even changing my body clock.

My system (pOS) has several programs, algorithms or Apps it runs. Some are dormant, like the Work app. That would need a serious update before it could run. Others have been on and off. There’s the Dirt Dweller app where I adjust to life on land, the Anchored Out app which is like a survival routine. There’s also the Marina app which helps me adapt to life tied to a dock.

With the Marina app running I forget about battery status, position of the boat, anchors, bad weather, wind, etc. and just worry about closing the hatches when it rains and picking the right time for a public bathroom run.

This is probably TMI but this blog is known for too much info so I’ll mention that while we were living at the marina my system was trained to purge at certain hours of the morning. I have known from experience that there are best times for public bathroom use and the usual “coffee’s working!” time slot is not a good one if you don’t like crowds.

It’s not a shy bladder that’s the problem it’s the other issues like….

Running to the facility only to find no vacancy, then running to the next facility only to also find a full house. Ugh. Worst nightmare especially on Wednesday mornings following Taco Tuesdays.

Yes we have bathrooms on the boat. Two of them in fact. Problem is we do not like to drive the boat to the pump out station (backing out of a tight space with $$$ boats around us). We could pay for someone to bring a portable unit over to the boat but that gets messy sometimes. Once a marina dude was pumping us out and foam came out the vent of his tank. The wind caught the foam and it stuck in his hair. He didn’t know it until I mentioned that he had a large topping of pee foam on his head. He was calm and collected and asked me to please hose his head down. “Why is it all foamy?” he asked. I didn’t know and I really didn’t want to know as I glanced at the case of beer heading for the fridge. I hosed off the poor bastards head and then the partially clothed dockmaster accepted some dish detergent to wash his hair. Why couldn’t he rinse his hair by himself? We must have looked.. interesting.

So we use the marina facilities instead of the boat and with Covid the marina bathroom situation got even more dicey. I remember telling people we’re living at the marina. “Oh well you’re pretty safe from covid I’m sure.”  We have public bathrooms. “Get the fuck outta there! My God!”

My system’s Marina App eventually adjusted my body clock. About 10 am I’d hop off the boat and go for a stroll knowing my destination would be a quiet place for reflection and relief. There were a few times where I was surprised by the number of people showering at that hour but for the most part it worked out.

There are some folks that wake up at 4am, slam four coffees and then head for the head. I tried that. It’s way too early and there were too many raccoons or one time there was a Heron on the dock I didn’t see and I damn near fell into the water when that thing took off and squawked at me. What an annoying Jurassic Park sound that it.

I actually raced a guy to the bathroom in JAX in the wee hours of the morning. I was proud to have out run him. Yes, it started as a faster walk as we saw each other from a distance. Then it became a sport walk, then a jog until a full blown sprint with me slamming the door and locking it just 5 seconds ahead. I was out of breath and laughing and totally distracted from the task and my system was totally disrupted but I sat there anyway because if I exited after just half a minute I would surely have taken a beating.

Deb had her adventures too. She waited for a bathroom to open up one morning and a woman stepped out with her two wet dogs. When Deb stepped inside the whole place was covered in hair. The woman showered, and so did the dogs.

There was plenty of other bathroom craziness. Too many to mention in detail, like the guy with bright blue Dolphin pants in the stall next to me, telling jokes or the night time visit only to find a family living in the bathroom. They were having dinner. Naked people, dogs in stalls, people showering in the sink, body hair shaving outside the stall, stall door falling off, shower head popping off and hitting you in the head, a coin slot for hot water, someone in the next stall asking for money, no toilet paper, no flush, overflow, giant spiders, a million mosquitoes, a diesel truck exhausting into the open top of the wall, underwear, bra and panties, empty bottle of wine, etc.  I do not miss all that but it’s fun to talk about it.

With my system adjusted to 10 AM I avoid all those crazy situations but it really clashes with any invitations for Brunch.

Now that the Dirt Dweller App is running I don’t worry about much. Systems are on a regular schedule and there’s no survival routines running unless I’m driving on I95. Morning walks need to be moved to a better time, when the Sun is warm… when I get some sneakers. This will probably lead to Winter and Summer subroutines.

Life requires adjustments. There’s apps for that.

Cheers!

P

    

I hated this bird

I took the pic of the bird because I didn’t think Deb believed me when I said I was being surprised every morning by a dinosaur hiding between boats.

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