I lost my beautiful Mom recently. Her smile, her sarcasm, her wit, her intelligence, her good nature and her love has left this life but remains with me as wonderful memories.
No matter how prepared I was for her passing I blubbered like a baby when she left. Losing your Mom is a lonely feeling. No matter your age you still are drawn to your Mom when life slaps you around, or when you just need to hear her voice. You don’t run to her crying any more but just talking to her made the world seem a little bit more normal. I’ve lost that now. I can’t talk to her. I can’t hold her hand. I can’t get a hug or a kiss. Mom was a cheek kisser. All I have are the memories now.
Mom worked full time. She was a mother of four and we were all a year apart. She had a lot of energy and kept us all in line all those years. Mom would wake me up by whistling. Like a bird. When you’re a teenager trying to get every damn minute in bed that you can it’s annoying to hear that human bird whistling away as she passed my now open door. She would eventually whistle her way into my room, let in some horrible sunlight and get me moving. No yelling. No threats. Just whistling and maybe a little laughter or joking to get me out of bed, dressed, stuffed with cereal and out the damn door for the bus.
One night we were up late. I was on the floor in front of the couch. My Mom sitting behind me. I asked her to stay up so I can watch Midnight Special. ELO was playing. ELO or the Electric Light Orchestra performed Roll Over Beethoven. A minute into the song and Mom says, “Ooh they have a cello. They’re really good. The singer would be cute if he’d get a haircut. I like his voice.”
I slowly turned to look up at Mom as she’s moving to the music. I thought, My Mom thinks Jeff Lynne is cute. She knows what a Cello is? I smiled at that and leaned back a little. Eventually her fingers found my curls which she knew annoyed me but I let it go this time.
I never got to see the rest of the set. Dad pulled into the driveway and I had to scoot upstairs where I would wait at the top to make sure Mom had an easy night ahead of her. Once the snoring started I went off to bed knowing Mom would get to bed in peace and get some much needed rest.
For some reason this memory keeps coming back to me. Something special about that moment but it just seems as plain as all the other nights we stayed up together. Sometimes watching an old movie, a show or another rock concert. Even Monty Python’s Flying Circus. She’d laugh along with me. Maybe I just figured out my Mom was pretty cool for a Mom. I still listen to ELO.
I miss those moments. If I could go back in time I would jump out of bed when I heard that whistling passing my door in the morning. I’d smile from ear to ear and give her a big hug and tell her how much I love her before I left for school.