I forgot to post this earlier. I think I need a shot of B12. The pills may not be working. Once in a while I Blog with many words. Most of the time I post to the FB blog for the short attention span people which is most of us now. I hate Facebook but it’s still the place where I can write a short blab about nothing but for some reason I had an abundant amount of words in my head for this post.
So, some time last week. Maybe two weeks? A month? Not sure now. Whatever…
How’s it going? Anyone doing anything interesting? I’m performing a labor of love. Babysitting. Sometimes it’s interesting but mostly it’s routine. We’re doing another marathon of child personality building this summer. We have good days and bad depending on the mood of the children but also the mood of the Grandparents. We’re not 20 yr old nannies with Red Bull in our veins and the energy to keep kids entertained for 8 hrs or more. We do our best. We know we can be boring to an 8 or 9 yr old and they get sick of being told what to do but maybe by end of summer they have learned something like…
… Closing doors after you come through them, or taking your shoes off when inside, hands and feet off the wall, flushing, wrappers go in the garbage, no eating on the couch, no yelling, no potty mouth, don’t punch each other in the face, the balls, the stomach and no peeing outside, no youtube, no throwing your game controller, no hiding your brothers tablet, no sneaking candy, no feeding the dog, no going naked, etc. Our goal is that next year the kids will beg for summer camp so they can get away from Grandma and Grampa Grumpy Pants.
When the kids were younger I could entertain them easily. Now my shtick just gets eye rolls. I’m thinking it’s time to introduce power tools and building shit. Maybe gardening. Dodgeball? What could possibly go wrong? I’ll just keep a first aid kit nearby.
At the moment it’s quiet. Even the dog is asleep. The boys are upstairs. Deb is out running errands and I’m having a tea and typing nonsense on a blog everyone forgot about. All is well. Of course, they could be up there throwing lit matches into the crawlspace, or watching strippers on youtube or maybe just playing nicely. I hate to go up there and bust up a good session but silence usually means something hideous is going down. Turns out they were just playing and I got the look from both of them that read, “Get lost old man.”
Yesterday I had the brilliant idea of bringing them all together to our place. Oye. It was so loud. Our neighbor was outside and the older boys were playing a video game and being obnoxious. They were like two chimps in a cage with a ball. I saw the guy look over at our door like, WTF is going on in there? I think part of Deb’s “errand” run today is to escape to sanity. “I have to go to Target for some things”. Sure Deb.
Some of us escaped to the woods a few weeks ago. We enjoyed a camping trip north to Table Rock State Park. We all survived and there was only one kid landing on his face for a bloody display and warning to other campers to not climb the slippery rocks in the stream.
I managed again to not get eaten by a bear but this time I actually saw one. Big Bear! Ran across the road near where we let the kids roam free. Yikes!
Nice park. We had fun. Didn’t even bring bear spray. My tent says 3 person. What bullshit. Three people would be insane or fun depending on who you had in there. I barely fit and I’m diminutive. OK I just looked up diminutive and I’m not that small. Medium height? Slightly below average? Of course I was on a slope. I always end up with the worst tent location. I had these older and taller people behind me snoring their asses off all night. I was hoping we brought beans so I could fight back. My first night was horrible. I was awake all night listening to the noise makers behind me. Second night I slept right through a thunderstorm. Lightning could have hit the tree behind me and blown me across the campsite into the creek and I would just die there without a worry, fried to medium well. My luck I’d survive with a disfigured burned head, unable to grow hair, a permanent stutter and cross eyed. I’d still be too short to play Sloth in the remake of The Goonies so I’d have to join a carnival.
Nothing worse than having to pee at 2 am in a completely dark campsite. You crawl stumble out of the tiny tent and try to find your shoes, then walk away from your tent and hope to gods there isn’t something waiting for you. You’re almost afraid to turn on the flashlight because it will light up a bears face two feet in front of you. Of course it’s the slowest pee in your history and you hear a branch snap.
The kids went under a waterfall which was cool. I was tempted but then I thought of being airlifted from the rocks with multiple fractures, broken hip and the start of Parkinson’s. I just sat on a bench. I’m either being a complete wuss or knowing my limitations. Everyone loves the daring Grandpa until he’s on a stretcher and is the color of a Rochester sky in November. Then they ask what the fuck I thought I was doing crawling on rocks under a waterfall.
We enjoyed the get away and Deb enjoyed the Paulie Free time. It’s cool we can get to the mountains in a few hours. We will have to do that more often. Actually we will have to do that a lot when high tide floods our living room.
It’s been so hot I’ve not had the bike out much. After the morning walk I don’t have much time left to get out. We like the area we’re in because of the bike paths. OK I like the area because of the bike paths. Also because the kids live here. Sorry that should have been first. I need to get out there biking more in the mornings. It’s like giving the finger to all the people heading to work. Man of leisure here. Riding my bike to wherever. Got all day.
The problem now is that we get a day off from warping little minds and we’re exhausted. I just don’t feel like riding 20 miles to nowhere. I’d take the kids riding but they’re not ready yet. They go where they look. They see a cat to the left and they start going in that direction. No peripheral control or focus yet. Even on trails I’m not sure. They’d be telling me about a video game and drive right into a pond of gators. Maybe in another year I can take them.
This is spider season right now. Webs are everywhere. I walked through one this morning and I had web in my face. I took off my hat and was sweeping it around and wiping down my arms and then I felt something on my back and started beating my back with the hat all the while holding a small flashlight. In the dark I must of looked pretty interesting to anyone who saw me. Spaz out for a walk.
One thing I forget to do now since I’m not sailing any more is to occasionally check the tide tables. Why would I do that living on land? Well we went to see the fireworks on the 4th and we watched them from the beach. Yeah. The beach. The tide was on the way up and we were on the way to getting wet. We were on a good stretch of beach that ended up being an island. I looked behind me and saw the water had come closer. I checked the tables and sure enough we were going to be surrounded I just didn’t know how deep it would get. We waded through the salty warm water up to our pants pockets (diminutive people) on our way to the car. Kind of funny. So many people failed to see what was behind them. People carrying their kids and strollers over their heads. One lady fell, getting soaked. People losing their phones, shoes, Grandma.
We’re planning a getaway this winter. Island time again? Feel the need to re-visit. I’ll smell better this time around. Not sure what Island. Most likely one that wasn’t blown away. Speaking of that, I’m starting to get anxious about H season. It’s these months that I wish I lived a couple hundred miles inland and not just a short bike ride to the water. Oh well. There is no perfect spot. Just ask Canada.
Cheers!
P